Randall's Bitches

Grocery shopping SUCKS!
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Author:  Randall [ Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Grocery shopping SUCKS!

I gotta tell ya, I never look forward to going to the grocery store. It's one of those things I compare to going to the dentist, you know it has to be done, but you know you're not going to have a good time. First of all, it's a game of bladder control. After sucking down 4 beers, you just know at some point your're going to have to piss. So you have to decide if you can race to the store, do your shopping and get home in time before you can't hold it anymore. Or are you going to have to explode before the shopping begins. What if you"re in pain just AFTER the shopping takes place and you know you"ll never make it home in time, thus having to leave the God Damn shopping cart outside the restroom and hope some douchbag doesn't run off with it!
What a fucking pain in the ass, so if I'm lucky enough to find a shopping cart, now the fun begins. First off this place is packed, it's 4:00 o'clock in the afternoon and I never seen so many people shopping. Most of the shoppers are old ladys and mothers with small children. It's pretty obvious the old ladys are retired, and it's also pretty obvious that all these young mothers with fidgetty little kids running all over the place don't work, SO WHY THE FUCK DON'T YOU DO YOUR SHOPPING EARLIER, so I can get in and get out after working all day, go home, piss, relax, and have dinner at a decent hour!!
There are no traffic rules for shoppers, they'll plug the isle to examine 15 different cheeses, they never go with the flow of traffic, and the next time some kid gets in my way I'm going to run him over.
Then I always get handed a list of items that I can never find, then if I do find where the stupid shit is, they're out of it, so now what do I do? I finally wormed my way through all the mess and look for a cashier that doesn't have a long ass line of people with so much food stuffed in one cart they can barely push the damn thing, AND THEN the old lady at the front of the line pulls out a bag of COUPONS!! Look lady, I'm hungry, I have to piss, and I aint got time for this shit. But now I'm commited because I have 3 people behind me and the next cashier over is dealing with somebody with food stamps.
So I finally get home and it is brought to my attention that the baggie of pepperoni has a hole in it and they're all soggy.....FUCK THAT, FUCK THEM and FUCK IT!

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