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Randall
Post  Post subject: Adventures of dumbass jones and company strikes again  |  Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:39 pm
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Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:08 pm
Posts: 41
Location: The nanny state

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I've come to realize that being a member of dumbass jones is like strapping yourself into a wild carnival ride and pushing the party button. You better hold on tight and hope to hell you survive. One thing that fucks with my mind is, we always survive.
Our van has been officially commisioned as "the party van", good or bad, it's always an experience. We picked up some of our crazy but loyal freinds last week to go see an Iron Maiden concert, and yes traffic sucked as usual, but we were having a truely epic ride and having a rockin good time. But God Damn it if somebody had to come along and spoil the fun. A cop was sitting off the side of the road and imediately zeroed in on us. "Pull into the casino" he yelled on his mega phone speaker shit, so we did. First thing that comes to mind is HIDE THE FUCKING BEER!! What we did with it, I will not reveal, let's just say that when he approached the door, it was gone. He asked for everybody's ID and had me unlock and open the back doors. Here sits 8 die hard dumbass jones fans in party mode wondering why the fuck somebody had to spoil the party. Well it appears some lady claimed that batman stuck his bare hairy ass out the window and she called the cops. Now I'm the driver, so I can't say whether batmans ass is hairy or not, all I know is this fucking bitch is puttin the smack down on our night. Anyway, the rock gods must have been watching over us because all we got was a lecture on sexual harrassment and indecent exposure and how being a sex offender is a felony. NO SHIT. Well like John said, everybody has an ass so why all the trouble about it?
As our punishment for the aledged crime, the cop made everybody that can't strap in with a seatbelt get out and walk. So they start walking and I drive off. I got about 2 miles down the road and decided they'll never be able to walk the rest of the way, it was about 6 fucking more miles to the concert, so I pulled off and texted them to meet up with me and we'll get the party started again. Well as I'm standing there this big ass yellow school bus goes by with John hanging out the window instructing me to follow it. Apparently Meltallica told this bus driver what happened and he agreed to drive them to the concert, dude, you rock, whoever you are. Not everybody in this world sucks, apparently there are still a few around that don't.
We met up at the show and it rocked big time, and the after party in the parking lot was rockin, we even saw batman in all his glory caving in the roof of the van, but that's ok because at least I never saw his dirty hairy bare ass and shit.


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