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Randall
Post  Post subject: Orna"mental" fur tree  |  Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:36 pm
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Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:08 pm
Posts: 41
Location: The nanny state

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Sitting here drinking my usual sixpack and wondering if I'll get dinner tonight, I was thinking about my last post and how many episodes through the years I've actually forgotten about. But here's one more that comes to mind.

OK, what do most guitarists and bassists do with thier old strings? One would think the appropriate thing to do would toss them in the garbage. But add the equation of alcohol, a touch of creativity and a big fur tree and you have a monument of mess.

We have this big ass fur tree outside our band room and one day I happened to look up at it for some stupid reason and noticed a bunch of guitar strings hanging from it. I thought, shit, oh well, the next windstorm will blow them out of it. But another month or so went by and they were still clinging to it, in fact, there was a whole shitload more hanging from it. And it wasn't just guitar strings, there was a bunch of other crap up there as well. So I decided enough is enough and commenced to climb up there and clean it up.

I managed to get a fair amount of bullshit off the branches and decided this is too big of a pain in the ass, so fuck the rest of it. Just about then I started feeling a pain on my upper arm. Couldn't tell what the fuck it was till I got down and then noticed a big red ring developing on my arm.

SOMETHING BIT MY FUCKING ARM! And it aint no common bug bite! Now I've heard of spider bites that eat flesh and leave these kind of marks so I ran upstairs and started feeling a little queezy. So off to the hospital I go.

Ever sat in the emergency waiting room? There's all kinds of wierd people sitting there. You can't really tell what they're there for because nobody's bleeding or even look sick. But I have to sit there with a festering nasty bite while all these seemingly healthy people get served first. Oh well, I'm sure they're fucked up some how or they wouldn't be there. Anyway, so I get called and have to go to a "preliminary" check to see if my problem is life threatening. Apparently it's not because they sent me accross the street to sit in another waiting room. After another half hour I get called and sent to a room. After another half hour the doctor shows up and looks at my arm. "Yep, you got bit alright". And that was it. FUCK, I could have told him THAT! He said just keep an eye on it and I'll be fine, oh and don't forget the hefty price tag for an emergency visit.

So why the fuck did I waste a whole afternoon going to the emergency room seeking help? You tell me........

One thing is certain, I'll never climb that god damn tree again no matter how much bullshit it accumulates! Fuck it.


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