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Post  Post subject: Fuck this deep freeze  |  Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:34 pm
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Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:08 pm
Posts: 41
Location: The nanny state

John will hate me for this, being born of Viking decent, this cold ass shit weather doesn't bother him, he's actually slept in the snow and thought nothing of it. But being half Italian and preferring Mediteranian type warmth, I get fucking pissed off everytime it gets this cold. I hate it. It sucks. 29 degrees and getting colder. I suppose if I was 350 pounds and carried around all that blubber being used as insulation I would think differently, but since I'm not and I don't, fuck that. The starter solenoid on my truck sticks in the morning because it doesn't like it. The brakes on the van won't break loose because some moisture froze them shut. My heating bill skyrockets out of control and my fucking nose is always running. Then I have to play door monitor for the dogs because they go in and out of the door constantly letting all the heat out. If I don't play the door game with them I run the risk of stepping in dog shit and then I have to limp my way outside in the freezing cold to rinse my shoe off with the hose, which is probably frozen anyway. I've already had to rinse my shoe off in the sink a few times, not pleasant. Especially when it's plugged up from everyones hair. What a fucked up deal that is. Ever try working outside in this shit weather? Your fingers freeze almost instantly and the nose faucet never shuts off. It sucks. Then I have to listen to the news media rant and rave about how "beautiful" it is outside. Fuck them and thier beauty. Then when it snows I have to deal with all those incompetant motherfuckers that don't know how to drive in it. Ever wonder why the birds fly south for the winter? It doesn't take much to figure that one out.
I've lived here all my life, with the exception of 5 years in sunny southern California, and I have never gotten used to this bullshit. Moss and mildew on everything. The summers are great here, all two months of it, if you're lucky. The rest of the year is gray, wet, and cold as a witches tit. You can't tell me that if I don't like it here, go back to where I came from, because this IS where I'm from! That doesn't mean I have to like this cold ass weather, because I don't! And don't get me started on Gore's wetdream "Global Warming"!
The only thing I like cold is my beer. And ice cream.

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